Explaining self respect,self motivation,marital problems,self acceptance,self improvement.
What is acceptance ?
The acceptance means; being fully able to experience and embrace the spontaneity of a moment that is not sought after or anticipated. Practicing acceptance means, acceptance on all levels, inner and outer, physical, mental, emotional, psychological and spiritual. It means recognizing your feelings and taking responsibility for them.
Accepting any situation or habit means releasing all the resistance, judgments and criticism about it. It involves shifting your focus from pain to questions such as ‘what is there to learn and grow from this situation ?’ ‘How this can help me in becoming more aware about me ?’ It means being like a transparent mirror who allows the light to pass through it without resistance. Accepting somebody means releasing resistance and being non-judgmental about him. It involves shifting your focus from what is wrong with him to what is best thing about him, what quality I really appreciate in him, what can I learn from him and how can I love more to him.
Why we need to accept ?
Denial, refusing to acknowledge, running away from problems and truth, offering resistance to change, all creates a friction within us. They result in accumulation of negative energy in pranic body and negative thinking patterns in mind. The acceptance on the other hand increases our understanding and awareness about problem and ourselves. Acceptance must be an integral part of our life style in order to maintain our PEACE OF MIND.
The quality of our thoughts, feelings, emotions and behavior towards others largely depends on the relationship we have with ourselves. The more we know and accept all aspect of ourselves, including our positive and negative, the more unconditional love we can have towards ourselves and others.
Self-acceptance comes first
Feeling guilty of something does not allow us to accept ourselves. Guilt arises when we think that we have done something wrong, something morally or spiritually wrong. See that the definition of what is right and what is wrong is given by society, religion and is a product of conscience not consciousness. Society makes some rules in order to ensure harmony and equilibrium. You should not be driven by your conscience but your higher consciousness, a deeper understanding of life and events. Lack of determination and procrastination generates guilt.
The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change. by: Carl Rogers
Understand that we are neither the best in anything nor the worst in anything. If we arrange people in an order based on what they have and what they do not have, we will find that most of us lies somewhere in the middle. Yet, we are constantly struggling to be number one or two in something or the other. Instead of getting driven by outer forces, we must listen to our heart, our antahkaran, our intuition. If you are centered in the consciousness you will have clear thought about what exactly you want instead of having mind chattering leading to tensions and worry.
Being over demanding and trying to be perfectionist does not allow to accept our-self. Understand that perfection does exist in long term. You may be perfect in something today but after 2-4 months, things will change and you will have to update yourself. Life is all about change. You can not control life and perfection demands absolute control over everything. Our ego questions our self-worth and suggest us that we are not worth anything unless we are constantly striving to validate that worth.
Self-criticism is a funny thing; it only hurts when you are willing to accept it as having some truth. Self-acceptance means releasing other’s people opinion about us. Switch your focus from what may be wrong with you to what is right in you. Spend some time daily valuing yourself; your talent, skills and qualities etc.
Self acceptance is being happy, loving and content with who you are now and what you have now. Appreciate yourself for what you have earned till now. For instance, accept the car you have right now, enjoy riding it every time. One day you might want a bigger car or you have this dream car in your mind, but there are advantages of small car right now. So you can be happy with the car you have now and still dream of your bigger car as a reality later.
Self-acceptance include releasing opinions of others about you, your body, your looks, your weakness etc. Understand that first everyone of us is highly unique and have a unique personality. Secondly at any time we are always doing the best we can do with the knowledge, experience and understanding we have. It is ironical that we give away our power to others and most of the time try to fit into there standards.
The COMPARISON and UNJUSTIFIED EXPECTATIONS are the biggest hurdles in the path of acceptance. Realize that each of us is highly unique and there is no reason to compare ourselves with others. It is the feeling of inadequacy arising from mind which makes you indulge in such activities. We run to achieve something, to fulfill our ego but at the end we find that the achievement does not meet our expectation and we are satisfied temporarily only.
It has become very common that we try to impress almost everybody specially in our office and friend circle. We try to become or portray what we are not. Just think that in life everything is changing; it is impractical to keep everybody impressed for the whole life and that too when most of them will keep coming and going.
Accept your body now
Most of us have a criticizing belief about our body or body parts. For example ‘I am too fat’ or ‘I do not have energy and vigor’. It is well known and scientifically proven fact that every cell of our body has consciousness and memory. Our critical thinking about our body make the body cells vibrate at a lower frequency thereby resulting in invitation to dis-ease. If you think that ‘my stomach is not well shaped’, then the stomach’s cells will start vibrating at a lower frequency. At subtle level we have blocked or are offering resistance to the free flow of energy (prana) in that part of body.
Accept you body now and stop being a self-critic. The more you dwell on what you do not have or you do not like the more of it you create. Appreciate the body you have as you look to developing the body you want. The more you appreciate your body, the more consistent messages are to your subconscious, and it is easy to have the body we want. Send light and love to every cell of your body.
Acceptance; gateway to fulfilled relationship
Beginning accepting yourself and your family members can be a remarkable turning point in your life. Give them love and respect and understand that every one of us have a different taste and different way of looking the same thing. They can not force you to have trust and confidence in them. It is only when you feel so from inside you. Life is a celebration, you should be happy with whatever they give you of them instead thinking ‘I shall be happy only when I have all of you’.
When you get married you become each others but do not becomes each others possessions. Argument does not prove your point but shows how desperate you are to prove your point. BRING A SHIFT IN YOUR CONSCIOUSNESS and tell yourself that: ‘whatever I am going through is helpful for me to reach where I am supposed to be.’ Growing through learning is leading me towards my ultimate goal i.e. BLISS. If you find things going out of control around you, look within, for their lies the true solution. Acknowledgement and acceptance is the first step towards changing negative behaviors.
The true test of being comfortable with someone else is the ability to share silence. by: Frank Tyger
Further more, notice how acceptance works in our life with out even our awareness. Suppose you are waiting at airport and meanwhile a co-passenger came and sit on the seat next to you. Notice sometimes how a whirlpool of unpleasant thoughts surfaces due to him and you loose your inner peace and comfort zone. There are two cases; first, you do not like something about him for example his appearance etc. This means you do not accept him. Second, you somehow feel inferior from him, may be because he looks richer than you or he is more handsome than you. In this case you do not approve of yourself, your own individuality. Notice carefully in both the cases it is judgment and non-acceptance which disturbs your inner peace. The acceptance gives us the power to get along with what we call as difficult people.
Acceptance and life events
People and life are great teachers. Do not refuse to accept a lesson just because you do not like the source it comes from. When we want to climb a high tower we take the first step and rise step by step, similarly in life we have to take the first step and rise. Realization has a lot to do with acceptance when it comes to dealing with grief. There is a difference between acceptance and resignation, you have to accept loss, not try to bear it alone. Accepting whatever you lost, does not mean you are forgetting the loss or that you would not ever feel sad again, but may be a turning point that means better things are yet to come. Acceptance is about understanding what has happened and that it cannot be changed. We have to be pragmatic and understand the GAMES MIND PLAY. What keeps us constantly struggling with life is the attitude of non-acceptance; not trusting the process of life.
Acceptance does not mean stop growing
Some people have a misconception that if you are happy with yourself you would not change things about yourself and this blocks growth. But this is not true, you do not have to be unhappy with yourself to know and actively change things you do not like. In-fact, learning to accept things could be the first step towards change.
Acceptance and spirituality
Our ego is the main culprit that does not allow us to accept whatever comes our way. It creates resistance to energy flow. The ego compels us to be judgmental and therefore duality and friction arises. Spirituality says in this universe everything is whole and complete. It is due to the mind which tells us that we lack something and therefore we offer resistance to happiness and love; the bliss. We keep running from painful things in our life instead of dealing with them. Denial may be our defense against those things that threaten our ego. Refusing to face whatever painful situation we do not want to acknowledge in our life, keeps us stuck and injures our spiritual growth. On the other hand acceptance increases our awareness about the problem, brings inner peace, happiness and solutions to the problem. You should accept things with a welcoming heart.
Acceptance and present moment
Whatever makes you unhappy also pushes you one step towards finding and reaching a state of happiness. Tension and worry arises when we do not accept the present. They spring from the gap between expectations and reality. Reality, the now, is happening as it should happen (in accordance with the flow of existence) but we start having expectations of how each moment should be. We need to welcome the present first and flow with it, experience it, enjoy it and then move ahead. Instead of accepting our self, we are constantly obsessed with the feelings of competition and envy.
LEARN to see things around you AS THEY REALLY ARE, not as they were earlier, not as you may want them to be, and not as they may become. See them for how and what they are now. It is in the present moment that you realize that whatever comes to us is precisely what we need for our growth and awakening.
Acceptance can be your power in difficult times
When things do not go your way, remember that every difficulty carries within it the seeds of an equal or greater benefit. In difficult times ask yourself: “What’s good about this ?”, “What can I learn from this ?”, “How can I benefit from this ?” and “Is there anything I can cheer about ?”, “How can this be an opportunity for me to grow ?”. In a nutshell acceptance means time to stop crying and get on with your life. Transforming a negative situation into a positive one requires a change in approach and action. Everything turns out to be fine when you have the courage to deliberately go about making it turn out fine. Understand that life is not a series of random events but a process of self-discovery.
Acceptance is antidote of anger
Most of the time we feel angry when the things do not go the way we wanted them. Anger triggers chain of destructing thoughts and emotions which are harmful for both others and ourselves. The moment we realze that in this universe everything is perfect and that divine will is the most intelligent force taking care of everything, we understand that right things are happening at the right time with right people. With this realization begins the acceptance and anger starts dissolving.
Accepting mistakes guard against negative emotions
We do not accept our mistake because if we accept, we will have to feel guilty which may be a threat to both our self-esteem and ego. We must realize that it is natural in practical life for us to make mistakes. In fact it is a part of our learn and grow mechanism. Accepting our mistakes includes shifting our focus from negative emotions like guilty, fear and low self esteem to learning and feeling more confident about that thing. Running away from mistakes compels us to carry fear in subconscious mind, on the other hand accepting them open us towards mental growth.
In a nutshell acceptance is a powerful tool for transforming us. It is rejoicing and taking care of present. Enjoying the food we are eating now, celebrating the relationship we have now.
- Count your blessings. Realize that, thing you have now are what you long for in the past. Shift your focus from what you do not have to what you have. Enjoy to the fullest what you have now.
- Spent quality time with family, friends and relatives. There is a lot to learn and enjoy with them. For example discussing something with them say about buying a house can open up your mind to something new.
- Stop being judgmental all the time towards yourself and others. Let them be what they are. Whenever you face a compulsion to judge, practice mindfulness.
- Learn to identify all the patterns of resistance in you. Observe what you think in what situation. Observe your reaction and physiological responses. Begin identifying repetitive thinking patterns. When you got the pattern or what is the cause of resistance dissolve it through meditation.
- Continuously update and broaden your thinking. Especially look for negative or limiting believes in your mind. Raise doubt on such limiting belief and replace it with positive and healthy belief. Meditation or affirmation can be used for this purpose.
- Be flexible and friendly. The more rigid you are, the less you will be open to learning, development and growth. The more rigid thinking you have the more resistance to acceptance you will offer.
- Never watch news, daily soap tv-serials or violent or emotional movies, do not read news paper, magazines and books (which stimulates negative desires or create a feeling of anger and depression etc) before you got to sleep or when you wake up in the morning. Understand that our mind highly reacts to multimedia and it has a tendency to get attracted towards harmful thoughts and emotions.
- From today onward stop being judgmental. Observe and identify what belief you have formed about whom and how that is working in your life.
- Whenever you found yourself uneasy, immediately switch your attention inward and do mindfulness.
- I love and accept myself exactly the way I am.
- I accept and approve of myself.
- I accept complete responsibility for everything in my life.
- I now release all the resistance that is stopping me to grow.
- I accept people the way they are.
- I accept myself completely and unconditionally.
- I accept total responsibility for my actions, emotions, thoughts and beliefs.
- I am receptive to all the abundance the Universe is offering me.
- I graciously accept both compliments and criticism.
- I trust the processes of life.
- I grow everyday by accepting myself unconditionally.
Calm down and relax physically and mentally. Get into meditative state and start your reiki session. Invoke reiki, God and holy Siddhas. Visualize a white light coming from Universe and entering into your Sahasrara chakra. Visualize that this light permeates in every cell of your body purifying and invigorating every cell. Invoke your karmic consciousness and begin sending reiki to Throat chakra. Visualize that the throat is becoming brighter and vibrant. Visualize it spinning with full pace. Keep sending reiki for at least 3-4 minutes. Then have the intention that “I request the reiki to release all the anger stored in throat chakra”. Released, released, released. Keep repeating these intentions for at least thrice. Now visualize that a black energy is getting released from your throat and you start feeling peace, love and joy. Have the intention that “I now accept and approve of myself”. Repeat thrice.
Now focus on heart chakra and begin sending reiki there. Visualize it spinning vibrantly and radiating white light. Send reiki for 1-2 minutes. Then have the intention that “I request the reiki to release all the harmful emotions stored in heart chakra”. Released, released, released. Keep repeating these intentions for at least thrice. Now visualize that a black energy is getting released from your heart chakra and it starts spinning faster and vibrantly. Have the intention that “I now accept and approve of myself”. Repeat thrice. You are done.
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