The four pillars of spiritual life are what help us in maintaining a balance among physical, mental, psychological and emotion aspects of life. Real happiness is the natural result of balance and harmony among all the different aspects of life, including the body. If they are a part of your art of living, no matter what happens, you will always find yourself joyful, composed and fulfilled. They are ways of purifying our mind-body-soul system. They help us dissolve past karmic impression and dramatic reduction in creation of new karmas. They are tools to transform your life. If you practice them troubled mind and agitated heart will no longer be part of your dictionary.
What is unconditional love ?
Unconditional love means loving someone or something without any thought of reward, trying to affect him or not trying to change someone into the way you think he should be. Unconditional love is permanent; it represents eternity. On the other hand conditional love is always temporary and dependent; once the condition is met we feel so called emotion of love.
The unconditional love is a pure state of inner being without any shadow of the mind. Such love does not have any preference or expectations. It is an inner state of being that we can access at any time and in any circumstance. Rather in this state of being truly in love, when we love someone, we begin to love all. For such love to emerge, one has to come into the immediate vibrant present. Compassion blooms only in the present, when one is free of mind activity. The unconditional love is a sense of inner connectedness with our higher-self. Negative emotions and feelings does not allow us to connect with our higher state of being. Unconditional love is supporting others in their time of need. It is that precious moment when our own ego ceases to exist.
The idea of unconditional love can be understood by asking a question, Why the ocean does not feel thirsty ? We all know the answer. Then we must ask another question; why I long for love and why do I expect something in return ? It is due to our ignorance about who we are and what our true nature is. We are ocean of love, we are love itself. The unconditional love means loving others without expecting something in return. Have you seen ocean asking for water ? WHERE ATTACHMENT ENDS, LOVE BEGINS.
Why we need to love unconditionally ?
Unconditional love connects us to our divine source. In this state of connectedness we can realize our true self. When we express unconditional love our consciousness raises.
Everything in this universe is connected with each other. Our actions not only affect us but also to our surroundings. When we allow ourselves to understand the impact our action, we realize the necessity to take loving action. The more we love each other, the more loving this planet and its resident will be. When we love unconditionally we transform ourselves and the planet at the same time. Karl Menninger said, “Love cures people – both the ones who give it and the ones who receive it. There is so much love in your heart that you can heal the whole planet.
Unconditional love means fulfilled relationship
Attachment, expectations and dependency are the root cause of friction arising in any relationship. In a state of unconditional love we have an inner sense that all relationships are transitory. Even if they last two lifetimes, they will ultimately come to an end and we will move on to our ultimate goal. With such sense we give and receive freely. The ability to love unconditionally comes naturally when we let go of fear, expectations and sense of ownership of what we consider ours, including our own body. When unconditional love is your way, you just accept who you are, and accept everyone else the way he or she is.
The famous poet Kabir has said: ‘Some ask for love and do not get it. Others unasked get it. Yet others, when it is offered to them, can not and will not receive it.’ Ask yourself in which category you fall and are you happy that way. When was the last time you really looked into the eyes of your mate and said “I love you”. Never let a problem to be solved become more important then a person to be loved. Decide what is more important and what is not. If you love somebody tell her. Tell your child “you are the best loving son in this world”, tell your wife “you are the most beautiful women I have ever seen”, tell your husband “you are the most caring husband and father in this world”.
Becoming comfortable with the people and space around us makes us less tense and less restless. Tension is removed when we smile at somebody and express our love and affection. There are four things: intelligence, love, energy and bliss which are four sides of the same pillar. When we express a feeling through head it is intelligence, when through heart it is love, when through our being it is energy and when expressed without reason it is bliss. So, whenever we express love, we express energy also and so, naturally become an energy channel, helping ourselves and others. Love has infinite power to heal anything.
Learning to love yourself is the very first and most important thing we all must do. It is only in yourself that you will find happiness and love towards yourself and others. However tough you are, you can not keep pushing yourself beyond limits.
We can not really love others until we love ourselves. Self-esteem, Self-respect, self-confidence and self-worthiness are expressions of love for our self. Whenever we pause for a moment and look what needs attention and care in ourselves, the love energy within us begins to increase and connect us with universal love.
“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.” by: Lord Gautam Buddha
Loving yourself unconditionally means accepting yourself now exactly as you are now. It means giving appointment to yourself; attending your inner call for peace. Loving yourself means acknowledging your feelings and fears and dealing with them positively.
Universe loves unconditional love
When we become a spontaneous channel for pouring our unconditional love to everybody, we become aligned with the vibrations of universal love and abundance for us. You are never helpless whenever you want to love unconditionally or want to forgive somebody. When you open your heart to the loving moment, miracles may work in you and through you. The whole universe is expression of divine love; When we open into the awareness of this love we notice that love is all there is. The Universe has blessed you with an abundance of talents and abilities. When we love ourselves we are more in tune with this abundance.
Unconditional love and spirituality
Learning how to love is a process that involves remembering who we really are, what is our true nature. The unconditional love is a dynamic and powerful energy that raises our consciousness and shift our focus from limitation to infiniteness. In meditation on heart chakra, as our consciousness rises and our awareness increases, we realize that love is our state of being. Love it not something we should look for instead it is our natural state; we are love itself. Unconditional love connects you to your higher state of being; your higher-self. It opens our heart chakra.
With this higher state of contentedness and opened heart chakra, we now realize that the people whom we consider as our enemies or otherwise hated were merely projections of our self. Unconditional love now begins to flow for them, as you now know that loving others is loving yourself and vice-versa. There is a deep sense of oneness with everyone, beyond the boundaries of time and space. The whole idea of meditation revolves around going beyond mind as mind means limitation and duality while love means infinity and oneness.
Medical science and Unconditional love
Modern researches on unconditional love suggest that the emotion, experienced as a desire to care for another person without any thought of reward, emerges from a complex interplay between seven separate areas of the brain. Such brain activity has only limited overlap with the cerebral impulses seen in romantic or sexual love, suggesting it should be seen as an entirely separate emotion. Of the seven brain areas that became active, three were similar to those of romantic love. The others were different, suggesting a separate kind of love. Beauregard’s discoveries showed that some of the areas activated when experiencing unconditional love were also involved in releasing dopamine. This chemical is deeply involved in sensing pleasure, with rising levels strongly linked to feelings of reward and even euphoria. This studies compels us to think that unconditional love is different than romantic or conditional love.
Criticism is the biggest enemy of love
How criticism can ruin our life and damage our self esteem is beyond the imagination of a common man. It is one of the most dangerous slow poison which when reaches its threshold makes life miserable. Psycho, criminals, killers, dictator etc are some examples of this. Criticism generates a sense of insecurity, a sense of incompleteness and therefore threatens self-esteem. Where there is incompleteness love can not exist.
Giving and receiving love
When you accept something with love and joy, you are telling yourself, ‘I am worth it, I deserve this.’ To receive joyfully is a blessing. If we are in relationships with people who do not have self-love, no matter how much we love them, it will never be enough because they are not giving it to themselves on the inside.
“Love is the selfless promotion of the growth of the other.” by: Milton Mayeroff
Sharing and rejoicing in others’ happiness is love in one of its highest forms. The more you rejoice, the more you will find yourself being blessed abundantly; because what we give we receive too.
“There is more hunger for love and appreciation in this world than for bread.” by: Mother Teresa
- Maintain a diary in which appreciate yourself about expressing love. For example the sentence may be like : “I appreciate myself for expressing unconditional love today to / for ………..”
- Learn to identify all the patterns of resistance in you. Observe what you think in what situation. Observe your reaction and physiological responses. Begin identifying repetitive thinking patterns. When you got the pattern or what is the cause of resistance dissolve it through meditation.
- The forgiveness, acceptance and gratitude must be a part of your life. When you forgive others unconditional love will emerge automatically.
- Have personal regard and respect for the people you meet. Treat them as equals and not inferior or superior in any way.
- From today onward stop being judgmental. Observe and identify what belief you have formed about whom and how that is working in your life. Love everyone and everything, but never attach with them emotionally.
- Mutual respect, doing things together like in kitchen, trusting each other, honesty, quality communication, mutual appreciation, being good listener, friendship, adding humor and developing common interest can have profound impact on the quality of your relationship.
- Ask yourself, what is the most loving thing I can do for this person right now ?
- It doesn’t matter what you did or did not do yesterday. Do not waste time and energy by thinking about anger and guilt. Just ask yourself, “How can I express unconditional love to my loved ones right now ?”
- Tell a person they are talented and skillful and you are always helpful to them.
- Identify your level of expectations. Carefully observe when, where and from whom you have expectations. What kind of expectations and conditions give rise to friction between you and him. Try increasing your understanding about it.
- Stop trying to please others thinking that if you impress them they will love you. Understand that first you have set wrong goal and second, in doing so, you unknowingly become a victim of self-criticism. Notice that you are saying to yourself that ‘if this condition is fulfilled I will receive love and respect’.
Meditations; opening heart
- Calm down and relax physically and mentally. Get into meditative state and start your reiki session. Invoke reiki, God and holy Siddhas. Visualize a white light coming from Universe and entering into your Sahasrara chakra. Visualize that this light permeates in every cell of your body purifying and invigorating every cell. Now begin sending reiki to heart chakra. Visualize that the heart chakra is becoming brighter and vibrant. Visualize it spinning with full pace. Keep sending reiki for atleast 3-4 minutes. Then have an intention that “I forgive myself and I forgive others”. “Right now I release all the past”. Request reiki to release all the detrimental emotions and feelings stored in heart chakra. Keep repeating these intentions for atleast 4-5 minutes. Now visualize that a black energy is getting released from your heart and you start feeling peace, love and joy. Have the intention that “I now love and approve of myself”. “I am loved and I am loving”.
- Take a piece of paper and write letters (may be unmailed) to your mother, father and to your spouse. Same can be written for your son and daughter. In this letter write everything that you wanted to tell them. For example telling about your career or something that created friction between you and him to your father. Pour out every emotion, every feeling, talk about every incident you think need to be addressed. Tell them that you love them and do you best with all the understanding, knowledge and experience you have at that time. Tell them what you like about them and where you got hurt also. Finish your letter by thanking them for everything whole heartly and ask for a fresh start where light and love will flourish.
- If you loved and lost, write a letter or email (which may be unmailed) to him/her and tell everything you ever wanted to tell. Pour out every emotion and feeling. Forgive him/her for what he/she has done. Ask for doing something that hurt him/her.
Unconditional love affirmations
- I am a radiating being of divine love.
- I now release all the resistance to love in my life.
- I trust the power of love to heal my body and my entire being.
- I am in complete touch with my thoughts, feelings and emotions. I am completely aware about every thought and feeling of mine.
- Love comes to me easily and effortlessly.
- I know that I do the best I can do at any instant of time.
- I express love freely and openly.
- I choose to stay calm, composed and relaxed irrespective of the situations.
- I let go all the worries about future, knowing that as I love myself and others, the very best things for me will happen.
- I attract loving, caring and beautiful people into my life.
- Love is healing my body and my mind constantly.
- I let the power of love heal me; my entire being.
- As I learn to love myself, I automatically receive the love and appreciation that I desire from others.
- I find it easier and easier each day to let go and just be love.